And then there were 4.

Big Brother

We’re adding to our family. We are feeling a lot of things. Mainly excitement and nervousness. We’ve got a great family dynamic going with the three of us. Honestly, it took us about 18 months to figure it out. When Preston was very small, I remember thinking “I cannot believe people have multiple children!” Thinking back on those times, I had very little confidence as a mom, and I was so tired from no sleep, and a hormonal wreck thanks to birth and breastfeeding. However, on the flip side, I am proud that I recovered from plastic surgery and a c-section so easily (read here for more details) and got through those scary first few months as a new mom. While I am thrilled at adding to our family, I am nervous. Nervous about all the normal things -the baby’s health, my health, Brian’s sanity, etc. But also, will it take another 18 months to figure out how to parent two kids? Will this baby be easier/harder? I know my heart is big enough to love two children, but can I give each one the time and attention they want/deserve?

My pregnancy with P was easy about 95% of the time.  I didn’t really experience any sickness at all. The last 4 weeks were rough, thanks to swelling and terrible pregnancy rash. I thought the second time around would be so much easier, and in some ways it is. My body has been through it, I know what to expect with a delivery, breastfeeding and caring for a child, I know we are good parents, and heck, this time around I have changed loads of diapers. Before P was born, I had never changed one! I had never given a baby a bottle, and had never really held a newborn longer than about 5 minutes. This second pregnancy however, has thrown me for a bit of a loop.

Nausea, vomiting, vertigo for a solid month, dizziness, fever for several weeks, and a whole host of other complications that do NOT need to be mentioned on the internet have accompanied this 2nd pregnancy. The vertigo caused a minor accident in which I stood up too quickly and rolled my ankle (or so I thought) to catch my balance. The rolled ankle continued hurting to the point that I couldn’t move my toes. And at 10 weeks pregnant, I met with an orthopedic doctor who confirmed I broke a bone in my foot near my ankle and sprained my ankle severely. I wore a boot for 4 weeks. It’s actually not that bad, and the pain is minimal. I missed driving and my freedom the most. As I told my dear husband who has stepped up to the plate in a MAJOR way since the sickness started in early February, “The pain of the broken bone has outweighed the nausea, so maybe this is a good thing.”

The upside is that my foot is healing and the nausea is slowly getting better, although I feel the worst at night. I know this is just for a limited time and I’ll be feeling much better soon. My hormones have been worse this time, and just overall, this pregnancy has been tough.

Pregnancy always brings the same questions, so I’ll do my best to answer.

1. When are you due? Sunday, Oct. 13. Knowing I will more than likely have a scheduled c-section, the 13th won’t be THE day. I need to have a more lengthy discussion with my doctor closer to time to determine my options. I am almost 14 weeks along.

2. What does Preston think about being a big brother? He’s 2. He has no idea. Every time we ask him if he wants to be a big brother, he says “boy!” or “Woody and Buzz now?” so he has no idea what’s going on nor does he care. Strangely, I do think he senses some change. The other day he randomly came up to me and told me he was the baby and asked me to hold and rock him like a baby. I think it was just a game, but I couldn’t help but wonder if he was picking up some subliminal signals. The other day, we asked him “What if you have a baby sister?” His response was “Nothing, daddy.  Boy!”

3. What will their age difference be? 2 years and 9 months.

4. When do you find out the gender? WE’RE NOT. So excited about the delivery surprise! I actually wanted this (Brian not so much), because I mean it when I say I would be thrilled with either another boy or a girl. I seriously LOVE being a boy mom and knowing how special brotherhood is, it would make me the happiest girl in the world. People may think I am dying for a girl, and part of me does really want one. But, I won’t be heartbroken if it’s not in the cards. Plus, girls kind of scare me. I know I am a girl.. and maybe that is why it scares me. 🙂 Everything happens for a reason! It does kind of blow my mind that God already sees our family perfectly, as it should be. Pretty cool to think about.

5. Why do you always hurt yourself when you’re pregnant? Wish I had an answer for this, but I promise I am not doing it on purpose. Brian and I laugh a lot, because Preston also hurts me a lot. I don’t know if it’s because I am always on the floor with him or what, but he tends to play so rough with me. I guess it’s just growing up with brothers and then having a son, I don’t know any other way to play! 😉 Maybe I am just a rough/careless person? I don’t know.

6. Who’s sleeping where? Preston is moving into a different room and we are keeping the nursery the nursery. Hoping to make that transition this summer. I am actually kind of sad about it. The nursery is very much P’s room, and it represents a big step for him (and me!). Maybe once all his stuff is in the other room, it will feel like his room.

7. Will you keep working now that there are two? Of course. I have been in my new job for 7 months now, and I plan on sticking around a while. I have a very supportive work group, and they are very excited for our family. Thankful for that! The response from them has been wonderful.

8. How much time off will you take? That I don’t know yet, but ultimately it’s up to me. I took 12 weeks with Preston and a part of me felt like that was a little long. I needed to get back in our routine and Preston thrived in daycare at a young age. It helps so much with establishing a schedule. I also know that every baby is different, so who knows what this one will need. Also, I will be up and running Preston to and from school anyway, so it’s not like life will stop much like it did the first time around. I am a little nervous about nursing after I return to work this time around. I could always pump in my office before and just lock the door and close the blinds, but now I am in a cube and the closest “pumping room” is several floors away. Storing the milk could also be an issue, but I’ll figure out what to do 🙂

9. Names? We have two girls names we like a lot, but are totally stumped on a boy name, although Brian and I have bounced around a few ideas. We always like family names or names that have some kind of special tie to us. I don’t know if I could name a child something just because I liked the name. I know that is crazy, but I just love for names to have a story/history. I am glad my husband feels the same way.  We’ll see.

10. How did you tell Brian? On the night of Preston’s 2nd birthday. I found out and didn’t tell anyone for two whole days! So hard and also so unlike me. Watch the video and see. 🙂

(It’s a 3 minute video. The surprise comes at the end, so you can fast forward if you’re short on time.)

That’s all for now on our news. Thanks for the nice well wishes from our friends and family! 🙂

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5 thoughts on “And then there were 4.

  1. Congrats Cami! The 2nd baby brought me so much emotion too. I was really worried about the dynamic – I felt really guilty which I wasn’t prepared for. But eventually our family of 4 (and now 5) made perfect sense. And in reality – our children have never experienced jealousy when a sibling was born. Preston will make a GREAT big brother 🙂

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