I wanted to take a moment to document how things are going. We are two and a half months on in this man-to-man defense gig, and I have to say that things are going much better than I anticipated. People warned me that when a second child enters the picture, you are really thrown for a loop and things get really tough. I have to say, just the opposite is true for us.
Thinking about the “seasons of life” – childhood, college, early 20s, newleyweds, etc – I have to say that this “season of life” is by far the richest. Every minute of our day is full until we lay down to go to bed. When we do finally lay down to go to sleep, we laugh most nights because we are just getting to ask about each others day. We know that this is just a season and we are relishing it. We know it goes quickly, and we love these little lives we are getting to mold.
When we had Preston, our worlds were rocked. We were 26 and 27, and still very self-centered in a lot of ways. Our pregnancy came quicker than expected, and when Preston (an extremely hard baby) was born, we were a wreck. Especially me – my difficult delivery led to a difficult recovery period for me and hormonal shifts that lasted a while. To top things off, P didn’t nap, didn’t sleep at night, and cried ALL THE TIME. It was an intense period. It took us about 18 months, not kidding, to find our groove. We were new parents, wanting to do everything right.
We spent a fair amount of our 2nd pregnancy worried it would be like that again. We made promises to each other that we would get through it and we would be okay. God works in funny ways, because from the moment M was born, she has been the most content, peaceful baby and loves her naps and nighttime sleep.
For us, welcoming a second child has almost been a non-event, for lack of a better term. Sure, some things have changed. The hours of 5 – 8 p.m. are really busy. There is NO downtime. We’ve got two in diapers. Laundry has grown, garbage has grown, grocery runs have grown, but life is not hard. We are managing it well, and every night we are thankful. One adjustment for the two of us has been that it is harder for one of us to not be home – mainly because they both want/need our attention all the time and you always feel like you are choosing. It’s good for both of them though – to learn to wait their turn, what patience means. It is also hard for anyone to watch both kids. At this point, it usually requires more than one person, and M is still too little to be left with anyone other than our parents at night.
Preston has not had as easy of a time adjusting as Brian and me. I preface this by saying his pediatrician and his teacher, both of whom I consider Preston-experts, both assure me that all of his tantrums, acting out, regressions, etc. are totally normal. The other night he threw I tantrum because I wouldn’t spoon feed him his supper. Did I mention he’ll be 3 next month?! Both his teacher, his doctor and Brian and I think that the best thing for P is to not give into any of the tantrums, keep his routine as consistent as possible, and choose to ignore. If anything, I’ve learned that he desperately needed a sibling. He was the center of everyone’s world, and that is not good for anyone. While this learning phase might be tough, he will come out a better person because of it, and as parents, that is all we hope for – for our kids to be good people.